Who Am I?

Today I've taken the bull by the horn. While I committed not to do anything to force clarity about my life plans, there was still some worry, thoughts and feelings that I felt somewhat dis-empowered by. I decided to walk my talk and do what work best in such cases: run a few Harmony Integration processes to bust through all the things, thoughts and negative charges that have been stirred up by not having a job starting December 1.

I have reached out to our harmony Integration coach community and asked if someone can guide me through some processes (I go much deeper that way then when i run it on myself). I did two processes:
1. End of words, highlighting what's good about that and what's bad about that and bringing it into balance.
2. Gnostic Intensive, the process designed to have a direct experience of who you truly are.

End of Words brought me to this balances place, that I really saw all the good and bad sides of it and arrived in the balanced middle where it's all neutral and all the charge was gone. Gnostic Intensive however blew my mind.

I have had Gnostic Intensive run on me a few times before, and I always had resistances coming up and I never got to the direct experience. After couple times I felt very frustrated, started thinking my old thoughts "what's wrong with me" or "why things work for everyone but me" and was hesitant to do it again.

Today was different. Maybe because I was exhausted of thinking and my brain was shut down and got out of the way, but I got to this very interesting deep space that I have never been to before. 

Here is what opened up for me when I was in that state and my coach asked me a question "Who Are You?":

1. I am anything and everything. I am like the drop in the ocean. Esoteric, I know, but this time it wasn't an idea or a thought, I felt it!
2. I am the space of pure possibility. I create myself every day and every moment. I literally saw how I create everything (my thoughts, feelings, things around me etc.) at each moment and each day. 
3. Every moment is a new moment of creation. I can create every moment from a fresh slate. The only reason today is the same as yesterday is because I chose it today again. I don't need to change anything, I can just create the new day and new moment the way I want to.
4. I create what I put my energy on. It's like in quantum physics particles are space of potential and only become matter when we put our attention on them. So I saw so clearly that I don't need to fight the moment, I can just create a new moment the way I want by focusing on what I want and taking the attention away from what I don't want.
5. The pressure I am putting on myself is unnecessary. And I create that by my choice. Just pure awareness of it dissipated it, it's gone. Feels good!

I probably knew all this before intellectually. It's not something new. The difference was that this time I experienced it. I felt it, I saw it and my level of awareness of myself jumped couple levels. It went from intellectual idea to a knowing.

I feel very peaceful and grounded. 
 
Actions I am taking TODAY to live this awareness:

1. Write this blog post to write this down and share it. Done :)
2. Watch my thoughts and where I put my focus and be present to what I am creating each moment.
3. Celebrate my breakthrough!
4. Just be and enjoy life.